Veribear: Hello everybody, as you can see, our letter-reading room has had a makeover, and now these sessions are simply called "The Letter Room" instead of the old name of "Dear Blankety Blank", because that name was gay...so let's get started shall we?

-letters pour onto the table-

Dear Lulu,

I am sorry for having acted like I did...but I now understand that you and Monty are going out and I did not know that until AFTER I STARTED LIKING YOU. Can you PLEASE tell all of the people who dont leave me alone to get over it and let it go?

-James

Lulu: Sure thing, sweetheart -pulls out megaphone- HEY. LEAVE JAMES ALONE. Thank you.


Dear Lulu,

*pokes belly* Who are you pregnant with?And,I wanna know what being pregnant is like.
I hope your baby is happy and healthy,

Torri

Lulu: Monty, of course...and...it's a hassle...but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. And thank you <: )


Dear Fisheh,

Can I.....touch you with mah hand?

Fish: No! I don't know where your filthy appendages have been D: <


Dear Leo,

Is being old kewl?Because when you come from hell you don't get old .3.

Leo: ...Duuuuuddee...hell man? That doesn't sound cool, man...duuude...


Dear Patches

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR WIFE!? SHE'S A TERRIBLE PERSON! SHE LEFT YOU FOR SOMEONE BETTER THAN YOU!! YOU DONT DESERVE THIS CRAP, SHE SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT YOU AND TOOK THE KIDS! YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WONT BE A WHORE AND LEAVE YOU! Please Patches, its for your own good :<

LOVE
Bela ~ <3

Patches: O_O; ...um...-shrugs off weirdness of letter- Well...when I married her, I swore I'd stay by her, till death do us part...then again...I die all the time...nevermind. I still stand by that promise, and I don't intend to ever break it.


Dear Fish

I found out where you live, be prepared bitch...

BEST FUCKING WISHES
Bela XOXOXOXOXO

Fish: Meep...o.o -prepares as instructed-


Dear Bunyip,
If you keep smoking, will you get gill cancer?

Bunyip: -shrugs- Who knows. My gills do a good job of filtering out most of the crap in these...besides, when you die half the time, health deficits don't follow on much. -puff-


Dear Veribear,
How do you feel when people ask you fucktarded questions?

Veribear: It gets really damn irritating to be honest. -cough- : /


Dear Tiffany,
What would happen if you and your brother were stranded on a deserted island?

Tiffany: Well, that would suck I guess..but then again, at least there's nobody around for my idiot little brother to embarass me in front of.


Dear Lulu,
how do you get so pretty .-.

Lulu: Well...good genes,I guess? But aside from that I like to take care of myself whenever I'm not dying horribly...I'd do a bit about proper hygeine and eating habits, but i don't want to sound like a PSA...


Dear Bunyip,
Hi! Big fan. So have you ever been in a car chase? If you have, what's it like? If you haven't, would you want to?
--Your fan, Chase the Skunk

Bunyip: In fact I have...heh...usually ends badly, but it's fun as hell while it lasts.Nothing quite like it really. Danger, adrenaline...Hmmm...could you excuse me for a moment? -grabs car keys and leaves-


Dear Fish,
Er, haha. Funny story. See, I accidentally ruptured a sewer pipe line, and now it's flooding your house. I hope that won't be a problem.
--Your friendly neighborhood plumber.

FIsh: ASDFGHJKLPDGAH -flails-


Dear Quake,
I've heard that bullies are bullies because they have no friends, or because they have pathetically low self-esteem. Your thoughts?
--Lucky the Cat

Quake: It's all bullcrap if you ask me. Now allow me to disprove your name by breaking your tail and cramming your head into a toilet, will you? >8 /

Dear Fish,
How do you tolerate that creepy guy Servan? No wait, let me rephrase that. Do you tolerate him at all?
--Monev the Rat

Fish: He's EVIL. And cruel. I hate him...he does horrible...HORRIBLE things to me...-curls into a ball and whimpers-


My dearest Veribear,
How are you doing lately?
I love your fur color... it is really quite amazing.
It's blue, like mine, but more of a pale, icy color...
It really is .. beautiful.
Sincerely, Gift.

Veribear: ...Ooooookay then -crumples up letter and tosses offscreen- Moving on.


Dear Bunyip,
What would u do if u were locked in a room with Veri?

Bunyip: -has returned at this point, has a few bandages and has smoke coming off of him- Back...um...Try and find a way out? Sheesh, what do you think I would do, man?
Veribear: That's not as bad as some of the other letters I've been getting involving you -holds one up for him to read-
Bunyip: -scans- What the-! Jeez, what the hell is wrong with you people!?


Dear Fish,
WTF ARE YOU?

Fish: I'm a squirrel, you simpleton.


Dear Lulu,
What would you do if Kevin the Kookaburra held you while you were in kitten form?

Lulu: ...who? .__.


Dear Strongman
I've heard that female crocodilians nurture their babies but males try to eat the babies. Has your father ever tried to eat you when you were a baby?

Strongman: No, I'll have you know I got along great with my father, thank you very much : /


Dear Fish,

How much would you pay to see a fight to the death between Servan and Cromeo?

Fish: ...is there a price cap?


Dear Quake,

I'd ask Kang, but I have the feeling he doesn't remember: What happened to Kang's head?

Quake: Well, his head has a history actually... all sorts of head injuries with that guy... I didn't cause any of them, I swear >__>;


Dear Jazz
What do you think of the colourful world of today?

Yours Sincerely

Emmy CB

Jazz: -shrugs-


Dear Squishy,
How long have you and Sushi known each other?

Squishy: We've been friends since we were both little underdeveloped larvae swimming in the tidal pools of Japan ^^


Dear Lulu,
If you're having second thoughts about having a baby, I could take care of the problem free of charge. Might I suggest... an abortion?

Lulu: . . . Who the -bleep- sent this? Who?! Come on, spill it! Tell me or I'll -bleep-ing rip your -bleep-ing -bleep- off and shove them right up your -bleep- -bleep bleep bleep- in your -bleep- so -bleep- that then you'll have to -bleep- sideways! >8C -giant angervein-

Others in the letter-room: ...-inch away from Lulu-


Dear Chubby;

How well, exactly, do you and Fish get along?

Regards,
Dove.

Chubby: I got a letter? Ooh...well, alright I guess...we're just partners in science projects and stuff, sometimes in a group with Sniffles and Flaky...he's more than a little offkilter if you know what I mean...Sniffles sometimes gets jealous of him too, and says mean stuff behind his back but...I don't know. I just think he's troubled.


Dear Fish,

Do you ever look at yourself and think your as psychochaotic as Flippy?

Fish: ...who the hell is Flippy?


Dear Church Mouse,

When you're not being a Jehovah whitness and all, do you ever go out on dates?

Church Mouse: -taken aback- Me? Dating? -laughs- Please, don't be so ludicrous...


Dear Strongman,
Do you know where to FIND DA COMPUTER ROOM?

From,
Vector the crocodile

Strongman: What...wait what? .__.


Dear Fish,
Why the fuck do you call yourself Fish?

Fish: Because my parents can't remember my real name, and I'm a Pisces, which is a fish, so that's what I decided to call myself.


Dear Igloo, do you get annoyed if Somebody Confuses Your gender?

From Blacky the Raccoon.

Igloo: ...people do that? I hadn't noticed =3


Dear Slider, Has anyone Ever thought you're Gay because of your fur colour? I, Myself don't think so, I'm just curious.

Slider: Yes, and it's somewhat infuriating. I'm not gay. But if people assume I am I just close my eyes and meditate, thinking of the scent of lavender by a babbling brook and...um...wow.
Veribear: Yeah, maybe it's not the fur that makes people think you're gay, eh?


Dear Fishy,

What do you and the Triumvirate do for fun?

Fish: -clutching letter- ...torture me T___T


Veribear: Well, I think that's enough letters for one day...meeting adjourned.
Lulu: Finally...
Quake: Bout freaking time...let's get some lunch already.
Fish: -still emoing in the corner- Gah...why...why me T_T
Veribear: Stop crying like a little bitch and come on...-drags-



That's all for this session.
See you guys next time!